Let It Go

Amidst a storm of things this week, I’ve found myself in this horribly, wallowy place of bitterness and anger and resentment. I was driving to work today with this goal in mind to punch those storms in the face with big fancy words to make myself feel better, uncaring of what it might do to the people on the other side BUT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE WAY I FELT AND THEREFORE I NEED TO SAY IT.

For whatever reason, while plotting my emails and texts and phone calls to clear out my head (gosh I sound like a drama llama don’t I?), I looked to the west and saw the moon going down as the sun was coming up. And I realized that it could be that simple. I mean, I could just let it go.

The thing about anger and guilty and resentment and bitterness, is that unless you do choose to explode…it only hurts you. The longer you let it settle in to your bones, the more havoc it creates. The more it feeds your need to feel all of those things, and the more it empowers you to hurt somebody else. Has throwing stones based on any of those emotions ever made any situation better? Here’s what it does do: It sits in your insides and builds this warm cozy fire and prepares a bottle gasoline, and no matter who comes along next with a little bit of pain to throw at you, the fire gets bigger. Your resentment and bitterness for one person is now fueled by two or three or fourteen…and instead of making peace with what is ACTUALLY causing any of those feelings, we let it simmer until we pick one or two to take it out on.

The bitterness that you’re holding onto because of:
That person that hurt you years ago? let it go.
That email you’ve been meaning to send to confront your demons with somebody that has obviously moved on without you? let it go.
The man that chose to walk away from your marriage or relationship or child? let  it go.
The way you don’t feel loved enough by the right people? let it go.
The way you feel when he or she doesn’t believe your truth? let it go.
That person that hates your success and incredible life because THEY’RE cooking a resentment fire? let it go.

As the moon goes down in the morning and lets the sun come up with a clean slate of a day, let it go.
Pull up those cute galoshes and bust out that pink polkadotted umbrella. Storms are going to come and go, but how you choose to react to those storms is what makes you.

“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control.
We can love and care for others, but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends.
We can assist then, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, NOT on our wishes.”

Love,
Nomz

Wordy Wednesday: #4!

Tidbits from my week!

*Why would I pack a “cold lunch” for my kindergartner when “hot lunch” at school today is a Hummus Wrap full of veggies from Colorado? How the eff can I compete with hummus you guys?

*I just started reading “Cold Tangerines” by Shauna Niequist, and I’m already excited to start living this book. Watch for quotes, watch for them. For example, the back of the book goes like this: “I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. This book is a shameless appeal for celebration.” I’m actually having a hard time not writing out the entire introduction for you. It’s already amazing. Actually, the latest quote I added to my blog: “”I need and choose the road of optimism and celebration and hope in the face of violence and despair and anxiety. And because the other road is a dead end.”, is from this book! (Wendy, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU for this book!)

*I want purple hair sooooo bad! Like an ashen blondish purple. Like this:

*I’m so proud of the way my five year old prays every night. She starts off by saying that she’s thankful for her family (like this: and thank you for mama, and brandon, and kyanne, and nova, and rolz, and daddy, and grandma, and the other grandma, and the other grandma after that, and grandpa, and the other grandpa, and my cousins…), and then goes on to tell Jesus about her whole day, or year. She rarely requests a single thing, except maybe the occasional “and help us have a good weekend tomorrow“. I think it’s prayers like this that started the kneeling next to the bed, because my feet KILL me by the time she’s done.

*People that are confident that they’re sneaky, aren’t so sneaky after all.

*Abusing your power is the quickest way to lose it.

*It makes me uncomfortable when Facebook comes up as a topic around the dinnertable. It makes me wonder what my kids will talk about when they’re our age. Can you guys imagine a world where Twitter is outdated?

*New plan: Don’t watch the news. It’s full of things that make me worry more, love the world less, ponder how to keep my kids safe, and create negativity. If it’s that important, I’ll hear about it on Facebook. Ha, HA.
Seriously though, I swear the media exists to control how the country feels. The world was better off in the centuries without technology. They weren’t old what they should be afraid of, where they should live, what schools the kids were to go to, etc. They just lived. Or maybe have died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail.

*Weekly favorite thought (I read it from God, others read it from their “little voice inside”, The Universe, etc., we can all use it though):

It’s not that you worry, Naomi, but that you care. A lot.

And knowing this difference can make such a difference, because then you can also remember that caring is my specialty, that every life unfolds in the palm of my hand, and that not one second of eternity is ever revealed that I haven’t carefully prepared.

Silly.

*It bugs me when I go out of my way to email somebody something, and they don’t respond. I wasn’t talking to air, if I was, I’d have talked to the air.

*It also bugs me that when the substitute me sits at my desk while I’m gone, and doodles on all my paper. my paper.

*It worries me that so many people are afraid to live honestly. That they feel like they have to put on a facade to keep the peace. That their feelings are something to fear or be ashamed of.

*For the first time, maybe in my whole life, I am grateful for having a gaggle of women in my life that I’m excited to call “friends”. They make me laugh every single day.

*My favorite pictures of the week:

(awwww, I can’t show you! Because I haven’t revealed them yet, dangit! But our friends got engaged, and I got to capture it – OMGYAY)

*Are any of you guys on Pinterest yet? It’s my favorite new place to kill time on the internet! Follow me, I’ll follow you back! http://pinterest.com/thenomz/

*Song of the Week (obviously, I blogged about it already):

*I can’t wait to make this octopus a snack: http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/
What was your favorite after school snack? My mom used to put frosting on graham crackers and OHMYYUM

My favoriteFAVORITE sent me my new favoriteFAVORITE picture:

Bouncing,
Nomz

Wordy Wednesday: #3!

-I’ve decided I learn things the hard way, every time. And I’m a better person , and my girls’ future is brighter for it. Assuming I learn.

-I had a future cheeseburger in my yard last week. Blog to come.

-I can actually predict that I will be an emotional disaster on Thursday. A skill most women would kill to have, and most men would appreciate. Actually, it’s just that my oldest is starting school. *sobs* Admittedly, I’m stoked to take pictures and write all day about it. That’ll be my rock, I think.

-Opportunities are growing on our apple tree in the back yard. Well, we don’t have apples, but lordy, we have opportunities. And trees. Deciding when the picking is right is the hard part!

-I love this:

…but on the surface, everything’s fine.

Fine. I freakin’ hate that word.

Too often, when you say fine:

* You mean “just putting up with things as they happen to me”
* You don’t actually feel connected to your own life
* You are so busy doing your life, you don’t remember the why behind it all

Fine is a placeholder for amazing. And isn’t amazing what we really want?
(found here: http://www.stratejoy.com/joy-juice/, and if you haven’t subscribed to their emails or liked their Facebook page, and you’re a girl that needs to be inspired…do it.)

-I’m such a space cadet, they should probably name a space shuttle after me, make me captain, and require me at least seven co-pilots.

-Thanks to a few calls to my sanity, I’m actually really excited for Kindergarten starting. I’m more worried about the logistics, like “how will she find the right bus you guys, they all look the same“…I should probably just park outside the school all day. Every day.

-Living beautifully is the sweetest revenge. Somebody hurt your feelings? Threaten you? Make you think twice about what you’re feeling or thinking? Live it out and prove them wrong.

-Nightmares start at age 3 with the monster in the closet (or walls, with my three year old), become more gruesome and real-life-possible, and never end from there. Can you imagine what it’d be like to actually sleep like a baby?

-I’m guilty of making somebody else’s big deal, a small deal. Making them feel inferior or ridiculous for blowing it out of proportion. Are you?

-“I heard you yesterday, Naomi. I heard you last week, too. I do wish, however, we’d talk more often. Always there for you, God”

-Think that all is well; that there’s time, that life is easy, and that the best has yet to come. Think that the reasons that elude you will one day catch up, that the lessons that have stumped you will one day bring joy, and that the sorrows that have crippled you will soon give you wings. Think that you’re important, that you cannot fail, and that happiness always returns. And think that you’re beautiful. …because what we think, becomes. ♥

-I don’t ever ever miss being pregnant. I was told I’m weird for that. I’ll stay weird then, thankyouverymuch.

-&&&& my favorite pictures from this week:

Inspired,
Nomz

This? This is the God that I know.

“If I told you there have been no mistakes,
that I understand every decision you’ve ever made,
and that the challenges you’ve faced, you’ve faced
for everyone, would you listen?

If I told you that what you dream of, I dream of for you,
that the only things “meant to be” are what you decide
upon, and that all that stands between you and the life
of your dreams are the thoughts you choose
to think, would you try to understand?

And if I told you that you are never alone,
that there are angels who sing your name in praise,
and that I couldn’t possibly be any more proud of you
than I already am, would you believe me?

Would you? Even if I pulled your leg, made you blush,
and winked between the lines?

Then I shall…”

-God