Let It Go

Amidst a storm of things this week, I’ve found myself in this horribly, wallowy place of bitterness and anger and resentment. I was driving to work today with this goal in mind to punch those storms in the face with big fancy words to make myself feel better, uncaring of what it might do to the people on the other side BUT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE WAY I FELT AND THEREFORE I NEED TO SAY IT.

For whatever reason, while plotting my emails and texts and phone calls to clear out my head (gosh I sound like a drama llama don’t I?), I looked to the west and saw the moon going down as the sun was coming up. And I realized that it could be that simple. I mean, I could just let it go.

The thing about anger and guilty and resentment and bitterness, is that unless you do choose to explode…it only hurts you. The longer you let it settle in to your bones, the more havoc it creates. The more it feeds your need to feel all of those things, and the more it empowers you to hurt somebody else. Has throwing stones based on any of those emotions ever made any situation better? Here’s what it does do: It sits in your insides and builds this warm cozy fire and prepares a bottle gasoline, and no matter who comes along next with a little bit of pain to throw at you, the fire gets bigger. Your resentment and bitterness for one person is now fueled by two or three or fourteen…and instead of making peace with what is ACTUALLY causing any of those feelings, we let it simmer until we pick one or two to take it out on.

The bitterness that you’re holding onto because of:
That person that hurt you years ago? let it go.
That email you’ve been meaning to send to confront your demons with somebody that has obviously moved on without you? let it go.
The man that chose to walk away from your marriage or relationship or child? let  it go.
The way you don’t feel loved enough by the right people? let it go.
The way you feel when he or she doesn’t believe your truth? let it go.
That person that hates your success and incredible life because THEY’RE cooking a resentment fire? let it go.

As the moon goes down in the morning and lets the sun come up with a clean slate of a day, let it go.
Pull up those cute galoshes and bust out that pink polkadotted umbrella. Storms are going to come and go, but how you choose to react to those storms is what makes you.

“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control.
We can love and care for others, but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends.
We can assist then, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, NOT on our wishes.”

Love,
Nomz

I can’t win…OH YES I CAN.

No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to please everybody. My ideas, beliefs, and faith are my own, my choices are mine all mine, and I have strong independence and passion running through these veins; all things that I’m growing attached to more and more, and disliking the pressure to change any of them.

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Here’s the funny thing about change.

The more you grow, the more you succeed, the more you’re provided for, the more you’re happy, the more you’re win, the richer you get, the more people will criticize, envy, gossip about, and glare at you over. They’ll try to hold you back, slow you down, and help you fail. They’ll try to tell you that your happiness isn’t real, that your provision is temporary, that your success likely came from some evil doing that you’re not bragging about. As Taylor Swift put it, “people throw glass at things that shine.”.

Here’s the best thing about change.

You have choices. You can choose to let people treat you that way, or you can not. You can hush up, or sing louder; write bolder. You can get bitter and angry and play their games right back, or you can polish yourself up and get your shine on brighter. You can’t control how people will treat you, but you have a choice on the amount of time they spend in your life because of their decisions. Nobody is perfect, but if you are on a path laid out by the rest of the world’s expectations, where the heck do you expect to get?

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I’m not writing this blog any reason but for a self reminder that, oh hey!, I don’t have to care that your envy and misery is over-boil that you’re spilling on me. I get to keep loving you, forgiving you, and moving on my shiny way. And when I set my mind to it, I’m pretty darn good at all three.

Air-kisses dahlings,
Nomz

Quote Love:

“You are always a valuable, worthwhile human being — not because anybody says so, not because you’re successful, not because you make a lot of money — but because you decide to believe it and for no other reason.”

“Live on purpose, live with purpose, and with constant, loving attention to that purpose. You can make life good in your own way no matter what.”

“It’s your obligation to share whatever you can spare, instantly and with no expectations: once the gift leaves your hand, it was never yours to begin with.”

“We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family or friends. We can assist them, pray for them and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.”